For me it began as a nagging feeling that grew, until something inside me was constantly saying “I’m not where I’m meant to be. I’m not fulfilling purpose”. It took years before I truly listened and acted on this, maybe it’s the same for you. Whatever stage you’re at in your journey to living your truth, I want to encourage you to listen to that voice and explore where it takes you. Yes, we can numb it out but the life we lead in doing so is nothing compared to how rich life can be when we get curious about finding our truth.
Change isn’t easy, and moving towards living our truth is a bold and daring thing to do. It forces us to confront our shadows and consistently show up to do the work to keep moving one step closer. I thought I was working on this for years. What I was actually doing was waiting for my life to change for me.
Fresh from a Drama and English Literature degree I set up my theatre company and waited for big opportunities to come my way. I spent five years struggling along and wondering when the life I wanted was going to start. In 2016 I eventually realised nothing was going to happen if I didn’t give it my all. I spent some time thinking about what it was I really wanted. What did my ideal, purpose driven life look like? What did I believe my truth, or purpose in the world (my dharma), to be?
I’d thought the dream was to be a full-time theatre maker, but when I truly considered it I knew that was neither sustainable nor what I really wanted. Intuitively I’d known this, which is why I hadn’t made any real progress on my presumed dream. When I finally started to listen to myself, and follow my curiosities different paths began to open up.
I got curious about deepening my yoga practice, and followed that to completing my yoga teacher training in 2017. I read The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin and got curious about spending a year working on my own happiness levels. This lead to me re-starting a blog, developing my passion for writing and eventually considering starting my own business. I’m now at a place where I’ve re-launched my website and am growing a business blending yoga and creativity to help people connect to their bodies, creativity and joy. And I’m doing this alongside continuing to develop my theatre company.
This journey has really only just begun, and I’m constantly evolving, but I feel so much closer to my truth now than I did a few years ago. You might wonder what that feels like. To me it feels vulnerable, totally terrifying and thrilling. It’s the big kind of fear, the kind that comes from leaping into the unknown. At the same time it feels deeply right and supported. Trust me, and yourself, you’ll know it when you feel it.
I believe we owe it to ourselves to stay curious, to frequently check in to see how the life we’re leading aligns with our truth. Perhaps you’ve had that nagging feeling for a while. Maybe it’s brand new, or you don’t have it at all. Wherever you’re at I encourage you to take a few quiet moments to breathe, and see what comes up. Meditate on the question, am I living my truth? Get curious about what your truth looks like, and follow those curiosities. It doesn’t have to mean radical overhaul of your life, it could be ten minutes a day to explore. Trust yourself, follow your gut feeling and your intuition. Know it won’t always be easy, but that it will always be worth it.
Ellen runs Being Change where she helps people connect to their bodies, intuition and joy. She teaches yoga classes in Manchester, UK and writes about yoga, holistic wellbeing, creativity and the big and small ways we can change our lives. Find out more and read her blog at being-change.com.